What do they want?

A couple of weeks ago we had a meeting about some of our more challenging students. We were trying to understand what was behind some of their behaviors and try to figure out how to help them. We discussed incident after incident of things gone awry. We talked about how students don’t verbalize the things they really want, they just act in some self-serving or selfish or unkind manner, and the adults around them try to figure out what’s at the heart of their “acting out” behavior.

They want to be noticed.

They want to belong.

They want to feel connected.

They want to be known, understood.

They want to be challenged.

They want to be heard.

They want to be liked.

They want to be recognized.

I think we can easily substitute “We” for any and all of the “They” words above. I think our students want/need the same things we want/need. I know I could substitute “I” for all of them.

6 thoughts on “What do they want?

  1. We have had many similar discussions. It seems that the behaviors we are seeing are more intense, louder, and from a greater number of children. But I love that you brought it back to the things we all need and want. Lovely post.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Remembering me as a teen, I also wanted everything you listed, I also wanted to be invisible, and not noticed, the constant internal struggle But it is the path of learning. in my Junior year of school, I asked myself, do you want to be a mouse? or do you want to be the lion? I picked Lion, somewhere along the line, I learned confidence, and if I hit it off with someone else, great, if not, oh well, and I went my separate way, no hard feeling, Life just iz, yew kno. I teach Ice skating in my spare time, all the kids follow me like the Pied Piper I treat them, how I wanted treated, in my teens. Respect, Manners

    Liked by 1 person

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